My Digital Brainstorm

Hello and Welcome

Musings of a Young Contrarian are collections of my own original essays, poems and short stories. Thoughts I have had while experiencing life from an exiled and disenfranchised perspective. It’s interesting to be in the margins of society while also being in the margins of one’s family. Most people can find a common ground with their kin. It was mine in fact who pushed me to the periphery of community and pedigree. Ostracizing me as a young lesbian and leaving me to fend for myself did more than just create a tough persona. It taught me that the true colors of humanity, family, friends and foe, will always show in the greatest times of despair. This may not be new to some, but at 14 and dismissed by my family on Christmas Day for their realization of my sexual nature, was in fact very new to me. Religion, culture, sexuality and community; all play a role in my life, one that I have a love-hate relationship with.

Perhaps if we, as a human race, were taught more about queerness, my nature wouldn’t have been an issue. Perhaps if my mother’s Hispanic-Christian background had taught her sooner that loving, rather than hating, will take you further in life, I wouldn’t have had a rocky start to my life’s journey. Perhaps if my father’s Egyptian-Muslim background taught him of the colorful past of pharaonic Egypt’s gender fluidity and sexuality, my being forced out of the closet wouldn’t have been the wedge that came between us. But is it religion and culture that is to blame? Or was it simply the views of two separate people hiding behind doctrine that made my life the rollercoaster it was? The one I am still dizzy from.

There are more colors in culture than people realize. The variations in color don’t only come from clothing, jewelry or spices, they come from the individual; their spirit, their nature, their truth. I like to discuss these variations further so that those who don’t know, can be taught and those who were taught, can remember.

There is more to life than what we learned in schools, considering we weren’t always taught what was important to know. Churches, Mosques and Temples have all been wrong in some case or another considering, they too often produce individuals who loath their fellow human. Cultures and religions can be beautiful but too often we are shown what makes them ugly. The abhorrence that many feel compelled to show in defense of their scriptures leaves others silent in rage and pain. My now deep seeded iconoclastic views are not seeping from my pours as a way to be rebellious in my youth, but as a way to share what I have learned from experiences and from those who have come before me with the same malcontent. It is to share what makes me who I am. What makes me cry, what makes me laugh and above all what makes me question the world around me. For questioning has been what helped me find my lighthouse during the stormy and angry seas of humanity’s iron fist. I didn’t know who I was when I was young and now, because of the resisting faces others have shown me, I have been able to find who I am amongst a crowd of opposition; and have found some freedom in doing so.

This world we inhabit is unfair. It is unjust, cruel, uncaring, even vicious. It can feel like you’ve been cursed to live out your days beneath the boot of a sadistic Universe. And yet, this world is also radiant, colorful, sexy, and fulfilling. Even loving. It can sometimes feel like you’re being carried along through life by some unseen benevolent force.

Both these extremes, for better or for worse, are rare. It’s usually some messy and dented combination of the two. If you find yourself living in a combination of these forces, similar to my experiences, then you have come to the right place. I am here to highlight the many stories that have been eclipsed by the shadows of the “standard” and “normal”.

Welcome to my digital brainstorm, you might find it interesting here. Look around and subscribe if you feel inclined to do so. Check out the About section to read what you will receive from me as a subscriber, free or paid. Thanks for stopping by.